3 Weeks and COUNTING!!!!!

Actually it's 2 weeks and 5 days... Danny had the nerve last night to say that I had a month left, I quickly corrected him! Though, my family is known for their late babies so who knows!!!! WAAAAH!!!! Please come on time, or early!

I still have not figured out a name for this little boy. Danny and I are on the same page at least, we like all the same things, just can't decide. We have decided that we will decide at the hospital. It gives us something to do when we are sitting around the room trying to keep the baby happy, quiet, fed, clean, etc... I still remember the argument we got in at the hospital when Hyrum was born. Well... it wasn't a fight or anything, just a little moment of frustration. I wanted my Samuel.... and I didn't like Danny's middle name choices... But, I gave in and Danny got what he wanted and I got full rights to naming our first girl. One day I will be happy for that moment of surrender on my part :) Though, I do love my little Hyrum and I can't imagine him having another name!

I did not sleep last night. Hyrum is taking a nap in his crib, cousin Marshall (whom I watch mon-fri) is playing with a plastic Easter wrapper on the ground and I am sitting here blogging. Why? Because I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to and if I get up and try to clean I throw up! Why was I born with such HORRIBLE genes? I love you mom, I really do... I just wish we could have been spared a few things from you, mainly your wonderfully sick pregnancies! I slept on and off last night in a sitting up position in bed, staring at Danny in annoyance of his perfectly peaceful slumber! Then he had the nerve to wake up happy and make me breakfast, and help with Marshall, and take care of our bills, and then leave to go make a little money for us! Gosh! I have a wonderful husband! :)

So the time is coming to a close. I am mentally ready for another natural birth. Getting ready for this new upcoming birth makes me reflect on Hryum's birth. And, I have decided one thing... I want to be a MIDWIFE one day. I don't know when, where, etc... but it will happen. My Great grandma and my grandma were both midwives. I feel the need to explain some things. One day I will get on my soap box and explain the "reasons" for this way of having my babies. But for now just know that I am doing the right thing for ME. I have been shocked at the negativity I have received from wanting natural births. I was not surprised by all the laughter, and the shocked hahahahaha you're joking right? responses. I was prepared for those. But I can't believe how many people thing I am dumb, crazy, "granola" and ancient for wanting it. Most people think I am doing it because I want to feel like "I am woman, hear me roar" or that I have to prove something to the rest of womankind. NOT EVEN CLOSE! My response to these people? You do your thing, and I will do mine. I don't judge others for their decisions, so just sit back and let me do what I think is right for ME.

Don't read the following unless you promise to be
non-judgmental, and to not be offended!

I am grateful for the experience I had with Hyrum. It was an amazing, sacred experience that I will never forget! I was in control of everything that happened, I told the nurses what I wanted, I determined how my body would labor with my baby. Hyrum came when he was ready, and I was ready for him. I felt everything? yes. But I am grateful for that. I am glad that we were so bonded right from the beginning, that I got to pull him out, that we both recovered so quickly. I love that we were in a dim lighted room, with those that I love, with peace and quiet around us. And yes, it was a sort of right of passage for us. If that describes in any way how it really was. I felt super in tune with the Lord. I felt close to my grandma. My mother and other grandma and sister were all there, and it was amazing to have them right next to me, experiencing it all together. With Danny on my other side of course! Though if it was up to him he might have been in another room :) It was incredibly hard. I will not lie. Though some women have much easier births than I did. Hyrum just came really fast and if the bag of waters had not been in front of him impeding his progression he would have come while on the drive to the hospital. It was very intense, most of you understand that :) (understatement?) But I loved it! Yes, I did at one point ask for an epidural. The nurses had me flat on my back until my midwife showed up and saved the day! Once she got there and took control and told the nurses to back off everything got better. I don't know how anyone can be flat on their back during labor!!! OH MY GOODNESS that was hard! My mom was made to lay flat on her back until she was at an 8 and then they gave her the gas mask and she woke up hours later with the nurses telling her how everything went and that her baby had been born perfect and she would see him later. Can you believe that?!!!! I want to go back in time and knock a few heads together! I only pushed twice and Hyrum came out. I really appreciate that part, though I didn't like the 3rd degree internal tears. I just believe that God has given our bodies everything we need to birth a baby, and there is a reason he gave us the bodies that he did. There is a reason babies are supposed to go through the rigors of childbirth, and I loved it and am ready for round 2. I also know that he gave us minds, and technology, and doctors(surgeons) to step in when there is an emergency and we really need them... Like my sister Sariah's recent cesarean. I am just grateful that I have a choice. And yes...

"I am woman, hear me roar!"