Siblings threw me a baby shower... whole family invited ;)

Baby Shower with the Family...

I am so glad I can get my husband in the water now. He has come so far in the last 2 years. There was once a time where he would refuse to get into the water. Now he gets in the hot tub with me, plays water volleyball, and even says he would like to scuba dive one day! I can't believe it! But it is good, considering that I practically live in the water. At least I used to. The jacuzzi feels so good right now, being 39 weeks pregnant. It's nice to feel weightless :) Hyrum had a blast in the pool, but he was thrilled to get into the warm water.

Water volleyball is probably the best summer sport! Besides the kids diving on top of us, there are no accidents... Though some do get spiked on once in a while. My sister and her husband Sariah and Matt have the perfect pool for volleyball and other games. I think mom gets the most into the sport :)

Just warming up after a fun day in the pool. The water is still a little cold, but mainly, it just got a little cloudy and windy towards the end. It's nice to have a hot tub to jump into afterwards. The babies were loving it.

They are so cute! All we need is little Phoebe (whom me all miss) and this picture would have all the new babies. I am due any day and Erin is due in October, then we will have 6 little ones, 7 if you count Savanah whom will be adopted very soon. Though she is more a little lady then a baby :) We can't wait to have her officially join our family.

Hyrum's favorite part of the day? POPSICLES!!! He attacked that thing with gusto! I was having a blast watching him suck on it with all his might and seeing the red juices all over his face and running down his chest. He is such a cutie!

mmmm mmmm mmmmm!

We miss CINDY!!! That is the only thing that would make this picture perfect! Erin thinks she looks so fat and pregnant, but looking at me... I don't think so! She looks awesome! She will look great throughout her entire pregnancy I am sure. The rest of us are just having fun with these new little ones, and we are planning out "biggest loser" VanNatter style. I am not really sure what that means, only that I have 2 years to have fun working out and shedding some of the last 20 months of pregnancy weight!

Tan Fat is BETTER than White Fat... Unfortunately I am white... VERY white! :) HAHAH
By this point Hyrum was tired, hungry, and ready to stop taking pictures. But we can't help ourselves... Cute babies, hot women, water, sun, all the ingredients for pictures. Plus Erin was around so you know the camera was just clicking away!

I love my momma! I love my sisters! I love our babies!
We are so truly blessed!
"Can life get any better? I submit that it cannot!" -brian reagan

Family, thanks for the fun baby shower. I want to do this will all my new babies now. So much fun! We really do miss Max and his family. It is times like these that we really think about them. We took for granted our years of always being together with everyone around. I hope we get to see them soon, and I hope more of us don't leave! Though, Danny and I are the most probable to leave considering that we are looking for work for Danny and we will go ANYWHERE! That's one thing we took from conference, do the Lord's will, think outside the box, progress no matter what the sacrifice! So glad it's summer time and I can just play play play.

Now the only question is...... "When is the BABY due?" -brian reagan :)

3 Weeks and COUNTING!!!!!

Actually it's 2 weeks and 5 days... Danny had the nerve last night to say that I had a month left, I quickly corrected him! Though, my family is known for their late babies so who knows!!!! WAAAAH!!!! Please come on time, or early!

I still have not figured out a name for this little boy. Danny and I are on the same page at least, we like all the same things, just can't decide. We have decided that we will decide at the hospital. It gives us something to do when we are sitting around the room trying to keep the baby happy, quiet, fed, clean, etc... I still remember the argument we got in at the hospital when Hyrum was born. Well... it wasn't a fight or anything, just a little moment of frustration. I wanted my Samuel.... and I didn't like Danny's middle name choices... But, I gave in and Danny got what he wanted and I got full rights to naming our first girl. One day I will be happy for that moment of surrender on my part :) Though, I do love my little Hyrum and I can't imagine him having another name!

I did not sleep last night. Hyrum is taking a nap in his crib, cousin Marshall (whom I watch mon-fri) is playing with a plastic Easter wrapper on the ground and I am sitting here blogging. Why? Because I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to and if I get up and try to clean I throw up! Why was I born with such HORRIBLE genes? I love you mom, I really do... I just wish we could have been spared a few things from you, mainly your wonderfully sick pregnancies! I slept on and off last night in a sitting up position in bed, staring at Danny in annoyance of his perfectly peaceful slumber! Then he had the nerve to wake up happy and make me breakfast, and help with Marshall, and take care of our bills, and then leave to go make a little money for us! Gosh! I have a wonderful husband! :)

So the time is coming to a close. I am mentally ready for another natural birth. Getting ready for this new upcoming birth makes me reflect on Hryum's birth. And, I have decided one thing... I want to be a MIDWIFE one day. I don't know when, where, etc... but it will happen. My Great grandma and my grandma were both midwives. I feel the need to explain some things. One day I will get on my soap box and explain the "reasons" for this way of having my babies. But for now just know that I am doing the right thing for ME. I have been shocked at the negativity I have received from wanting natural births. I was not surprised by all the laughter, and the shocked hahahahaha you're joking right? responses. I was prepared for those. But I can't believe how many people thing I am dumb, crazy, "granola" and ancient for wanting it. Most people think I am doing it because I want to feel like "I am woman, hear me roar" or that I have to prove something to the rest of womankind. NOT EVEN CLOSE! My response to these people? You do your thing, and I will do mine. I don't judge others for their decisions, so just sit back and let me do what I think is right for ME.

Don't read the following unless you promise to be
non-judgmental, and to not be offended!

I am grateful for the experience I had with Hyrum. It was an amazing, sacred experience that I will never forget! I was in control of everything that happened, I told the nurses what I wanted, I determined how my body would labor with my baby. Hyrum came when he was ready, and I was ready for him. I felt everything? yes. But I am grateful for that. I am glad that we were so bonded right from the beginning, that I got to pull him out, that we both recovered so quickly. I love that we were in a dim lighted room, with those that I love, with peace and quiet around us. And yes, it was a sort of right of passage for us. If that describes in any way how it really was. I felt super in tune with the Lord. I felt close to my grandma. My mother and other grandma and sister were all there, and it was amazing to have them right next to me, experiencing it all together. With Danny on my other side of course! Though if it was up to him he might have been in another room :) It was incredibly hard. I will not lie. Though some women have much easier births than I did. Hyrum just came really fast and if the bag of waters had not been in front of him impeding his progression he would have come while on the drive to the hospital. It was very intense, most of you understand that :) (understatement?) But I loved it! Yes, I did at one point ask for an epidural. The nurses had me flat on my back until my midwife showed up and saved the day! Once she got there and took control and told the nurses to back off everything got better. I don't know how anyone can be flat on their back during labor!!! OH MY GOODNESS that was hard! My mom was made to lay flat on her back until she was at an 8 and then they gave her the gas mask and she woke up hours later with the nurses telling her how everything went and that her baby had been born perfect and she would see him later. Can you believe that?!!!! I want to go back in time and knock a few heads together! I only pushed twice and Hyrum came out. I really appreciate that part, though I didn't like the 3rd degree internal tears. I just believe that God has given our bodies everything we need to birth a baby, and there is a reason he gave us the bodies that he did. There is a reason babies are supposed to go through the rigors of childbirth, and I loved it and am ready for round 2. I also know that he gave us minds, and technology, and doctors(surgeons) to step in when there is an emergency and we really need them... Like my sister Sariah's recent cesarean. I am just grateful that I have a choice. And yes...

"I am woman, hear me roar!"

Easter Conference

The last two days have been wonderful. I missed the first session on Saturday. We don't have internet or tv at our house so we went to my sister Sariah's home. Unfortunately, since we were out late at my sister Erin's home all night Friday, Hyrum and I slept in. And by sleep in I mean that we slept until 11am! And to further explain, I was awake every two hours throughout the night. Why is it that my best sleep comes right in the morning when the sun is up and it's time for me to awake!???! I don't quite get it, but I know this is preparing me for the all night all day feedings, etc...

But now, to get back to the point. I am just so happy right now. I LOVE CONFERENCE. I always have. I hopefully ALWAYS will. Not too worried about that, but I always think back to Scott's talk about not taking your testimony for granted. You can't say never.... you must always say I pray that I never fall.

So.... anyways.... :) I am bad about tangents. I loved this weekends conference. I felt the themes were about parents, teaching their children. Gaining knowledge, and sharing that wisdom with their kids. SO many of the talks spoke to me about the importance of shielding our children from the world by testifying to them of truths. All truths. And helping them to gain their own testimonies of the Lord, of his plan, and of truths found on this earth so that they can withstand the evil that prevails on this world. They made me want to keep learning. Science, History, Math, Art, economics, anatomy, biology, geography, study of animals, the earth, and of course all things spiritual and then share them with my kids. One of the talks said how his mother would drill them and teach them more than their teachers at school. She would teach them while she cooked, cleaned, while they worked, did projects, etc... I think that is so neat! And I can't wait to do it.

I also loved how they stressed being as good of listeners as we are speakers. That we need to listen and learn from our children. Everything was just so wonderful. I am so grateful that at the same time the world is trying to govern our lives, and the schools and media are trying to teach our children for us, THE LORD is showing us the way for us to Govern our own lives, and for us to teach our own children. I love it! I love the gospel. It is true. And like the little boy that said "NEVER" when asked if he would ever lose faith in Christ, I say I pray that I NEVER lose faith in him, because he truly brings me comfort, peace, and true joy. And I am grateful to have a husband that is working alongside me in order to accomplish that.

My new blog

alright so I am changing things up a bit... I made a blog page just for Hyrum, and one will be coming soon for Samuel as well. That way I have my boys done, my fitness blog done, and this one can be just for my family... Danny, me and the boys. But mainly for my thoughts, etc... I realized that I have been doing a ton for Hyrum and I don't know if I can keep up the work with another boy, so... yea. Plus I need a place for me to just talk about things... not just baby stuff, but "ME" stuff :)

So here goes.

I am reading a wonderful book right now. It's called Pregnancy, Childbirth, and your growing Latter Day Saint Family. It is a really neat book. I am really into learning and gaining knowledge. I am not talking down to anyone who is not like this, I am just saying that I get a kick out of really investigating things and getting "down to the nitty gritty" I have read sooo many books on pregnancy and childbirth and nursing. Mainly because I did a natural birth, and yes, I am doing this new one natural as well. But I can't imagine going thru the biggest "right of passage" known to woman kind and not knowing anything about it. So yes, I read, and read, and read... But this is the first book that I read from an LDS author who combines the science of birth with the spiritual aspect of birth. Hence, the reason I love it so much. Nothing is better than feeling the spirit as you learn important truths about our self, the world around us, and all other creations. I have learned a few things from this book that are already really affecting me. First and foremost, she posted a quote from Mary, the mother of Christ and I am using this quote as my motto this year. It is one that we are all familiar with...

"Behold the handmaiden of the Lord; be it unto me
according to thy word"

I have been thinking about me too much with these last two pregnancies. I am not saying that I am not allowed bad days, and I am not allowed to EVER complain because that just wouldn't happen! Especially when you have pregnancies like me and you are sick for 10 MONTHS!!! seriously mom, thanks for the genes! :) I am a mother. I am fulfilling my most important role here on this earth by creating and nurturing life. I prayed for this for a very loooong time! I didn't want to be single anymore, I didn't want to be so selfish anymore, so basically I am getting exactly what I prayed for, AND what I still pray for! The other big thing I learned is the importance of adapting. People have complimented me for years on my ability to adapt to people and situations. This does not mean I adapt to a bad party, and then woman's conference! Rather I can adapt to pretty much anyone and get a long with them, and I can be comfortable in many situations, and can handle trials fairly well. Well, that has been true until the last two years. Sorry this is lengthy but let me explain why...

This was me two years ago...

And this is me now...

Do you see the difference? It has nothing to do with the other people in the picture, or what I was wearing... well yes it does have to do with what I was wearing. A size 8 is different from a size...??? I don't know what it is in stretch pregnancy pants! And yes Hyrum is a cute little baby, and I love him and Samuel and Danny so very much, but this isn't about them, it's about me! I feel the need to defend how truly happy I am right now with the blessings the Lord has given me, but I will stop there and just pray you know that. So... back to the story. 2 years ago I was racing. I was working out, I was playing non-stop! Literally. I can't tell you how much I loved it! I mean really loved it. I love to sweat, though I am not really the sweat type, just a little above my lip like my momma. I love to really exert myself, I love to wear myself out physically. I love ENDORPHINES! oh yea! I love racing, being competitive. It's a high like no other. (though the high from labor and delivery did exceed it but in a different way) I even like pain. Crazy huh? Yea, it's kind of like Happy Gilmore where he is in the batting cage and is getting hit by the balls all the while saying "oh yea bring it on, that one hurt a little, ok, give it to me" I love pushing myself to the limits. I love being in a race and feeling like you have NOTHING left to give and then you pray, and you find a spark and then end up finishing going faster and stronger than ever. I love the shock your body goes thru when a race is over and you cry, or collapse, or just walk around in a glorious daze and then eat whatever you can get into your mouth. I started doing triathlons and fell in love and then I got into cycling because of my brother Max, my friend Charlotte, and Bob Stark. And I got a bike, a beauty, and fell in love with it... racing is awesome! I loved the training, the work-outs in the gym, on the road, in the pool, etc... When I was not racing or training for it, I was playing racquetball, off-road cycling, hiking, playing tennis, basketball, volleyball, swimming, running, playing softball, I could go on and on and on and...... Are you seeing the picture? And please, I am not exaggerating. I got proof if you want Charlotte's or Krystal's phone number. This is one of the reasons Danny married me. He loved how active I was. Nice huh, then what did he do to me!? JK!!! My life was about church, and physical highs. And to top it off I was the fittest and skinniest I had ever been. A size eight jean might not be a big deal to yall, but for me it was coming down from a 14 I had worn since high school. And even before high school when I might have been wearing something smaller than that I looked super chub! My whole life I looked chub. So to keep it off and to feel that good and energetic for a couple of years was GREAT!!! I know for a fact that one reason I gained so much weight in my first pregnancy was because of going from pre-pregnant lifestyle, to pregnant lifestyle. I tried to work out, in fact I did almost my entire pregnancy but when I say work-out I mean an hour of trying to do stuff. Most of the time I got dizzy, or faint, or barely made it to the bathroom to throw up. And I ate McDonalds french fries almost everyday for the first 5 months. I couldn't help myself! I promise! It was the only thing that made me feel better! I better understand why some do drugs now, even if for only an hour or so of relief I loved those fries! :) And things went downhill from there. Almost 80 pounds later I am due in 4 weeks with my second boy, and though extremely happy with my family and spiritual self, I am very unhappy physically. I miss the highs, I miss the energy, I miss the strong body. I really miss the muscles (I was getting really cool cuts in my quads.) hahahaha... AND so we come full circle! I need to adapt! I need to learn to be happy in the situation that I am placed in. I also need to be much better about my nutrition when I am pregnant, I am just learning all these natural cures for nauseau. Information that would have been good yesterday! And I am learning a few things that I can do for the next pregnancy so that I can live a more balanced life and not just go into pregnancy mode where I can't do anything! However, with that said I AM taking a break from being pregnant. I feel that the Lord understands my need to get some normalcy in my life again. And I think being pregnant for the last 19 of 22 months has earned me a little respite. Right? But with this break I am going to apply balance. I can hardly wait to get back into my spin classes, and running, swimming at LA Fitness. BUT I am not going to go crazy. I can't I will have two of my boys plus my sisters boy. So I obviously can't go too crazy. But I will take time out for me. And I will lose some weight, and gain energy, and eat good since that's what I do when I work-out. Eat good. Though why I can't eat good when I am not working out I don't understand. I will adapt to whatever situation I am in and I will be the handmaiden of the Lord, doing his will, and keeping my eternal self in perspective. Because when it comes down to it, the Lord truly wants us to progress to him. And that means all aspects of our lives must come together in unity. Our spirits, our physical bodies, our emotions, intellects, etc.... We must work on each part of our selves until we become whole. That in a nutshell are my thoughts for you today. I hope I didn't bore. Please leave your thoughts on the subject, I would love to know what you do for balance.

Hooray for WORK!!!

Danny got a job! Hallelujah! Not that he has not been trying because he has been a full time job seeker since November, but we live in tough times, and so tough times we are going through. Honestly I am not complaining, nor do I feel like complaining. I never thought I would be a family that would need to use government programs, and church assistance. We made it until last month, but then we had to turn to the church for help, and we had to get on government unemployment. As much as it was a hit to our pride, we have learned so much. It is quite the experience being on the flip side of a tithe payer and tax payer. I am glad the system we support was able to help us in time of need. I am so grateful to the Lord for his help. I have a great family that has given us moral support and encouragement, and a church that has financially helped us as well as spiritually. I am grateful for callings that enable Danny and I to really get involved and feel that we are contributing to a great need.

Danny is just working at an Air conditioning place that recycles the units, but the hours are great, the money is decent, and it will allow him to be at home a little in the mornings with me, and will give him time to look for better work, and go to school. He is looking into schooling right now and I am just so glad to have a husband who is so motivated and so helpful and hard-working. He comes from a great family that taught him vital skills, and characteristics. I love him. I love his patience, his integrity, his desire to serve, his loyalty to me, and his worthiness to hold the priesthood which has sustained our family these last (almost) two years.

Now we are starting this new chapter, a new job, a new baby, and who knows what else... I say "bring it on" (Happy Gilmore) Who knows where we will be next year. Each year has been a great surprise for me. From all the moves I have been through, callings, singles ward, marriage, baby, new baby, etc.... My life has been anything but dull, and you know what? That suits me just fine!

Happy 1st Birthday to my baby!

Hyrum's 1st Birthday

So the cake didn't turn out as good as it looked in my imagination but I never called myself a professional..... just a cake boss fan!

Hyrum discovered his love of suckers... so the following pics. of him mostly include him gorging himself on candy, icing, soda, basically all the things I don't want him to love.

FAMILY

Matt and Sariah making their big deput with newest addition to our family, baby girl Ryenn

Dallas and Brooke brought their lil' girls. Shelby had fun with her new friend Savana

Momma VanNatter with baby Marshall. Jill and Wade are lovin' this lil' boy.
I watch him 5 days a week now and him and Hyrum are finally coming to an understanding. Hyrum is used to him now and Marshall is starting to get old enough
to where they can play with each other. He is a sweetie!

FRIENDS

Aubrey and Lucy

Jenny

Tom and Charlotte

PLAY TIME!!!

Savana on the slide

Trying to teach Hyrum to hit the shark pinata was a challenge. Why do parents confuse their kids by telling them every day to be soft, not hit, and then give them a stick and try to teach them to hit something as hard as you can????

ymmmm suckers!!! I love his cute little my first birthday pin!

Erin just glows nowadays :) 11 weeks pregnant!

Mom and Dad and Erin got Hyrum a cute little tool box that sings and goes up and down. The best part is the Mexican accent saying "we can fix it together"

My cute baby!

Momma is looking like she has been eating too much cake!

Zoo Day with Friends from the ward

Zoo Day!!!

We had so much fun playing on the statues, petting the farm animals, and BOY did Hyrum love the monkeys and the Tigers.

This is actually right after he let go of the poor goats goatee.... :)

But at the end of the day... He loves his momma best of all !!!

Church yesterday

So I had to post this picture of my cute men....

This was my camera phone right before church, I know Danny was embarrassed to take a picture in front of people going inside but I am so glad I did. I can't believe how good pictures cell phones can take nowadays!

Christmas is going good so far! I love this holiday! I have had so much fun making crafts and spending time with Danny. He is out of a j0b right now but has a couple of good leads, so keep him in your prayers. However, I have REALLY enjoyed having him around. It seems that since we have gotten married he has been gone more than home, but to be fair I have been pregnant more than not pregnant so I guess we are equal! :)

This picture I thought was cute of Hyrum watching daddy as he was hanging some shelves. Yes this is the master bedroom, still not done! Just plain and yuck..... At least the rest of the house is mas o menos done :)

Thanksgiving in Willcox

Thanksgiving in Willcox

It was so much fun! We took up our little camper since there was not a lot of room in the 2 houses to fit all of Danny's family but that was nice since it gave Hyrum a quiet place to sleep..... or try to sleep :) he does not do so great in foreign places, or beds...

We spent Thanksgiving morning playing at the elementary school gymansium. We plaed basketball and dodge ball. It was really fun!

Then we had Thanksgiving of course. Our frier was a little hot so I burned the turkey some, thank goodness fried turkey is so amazing cuz it still turned out mostly. I brought over my families' tradition of sharing what we are thankful for. Everyone shared something, even the kids. It was a very special time and I will not forget the feelings there. We played games that day and night and just had a good time visiting.

We did family pictures the next day. Hyrum fell fast asleep during them on Danny's shoulder. It was really cute! Then the boys spent the day working with their dad, and we went to Riley's baptism that night. It was wonderful of course! Danny and I left that night a little after 11pm. We wanted to get home and sleep in our bed since the next day everyone was coming up to us anyways to go to the temple.

So Saturday we did a sealing session at the temple with all the adults. It was awesome! Paul was able to do work for his parents and grandparents which was wonderful to share with him. Afterwards we had a little meeting in the visitiors center and the boys all got blessings then we ate at Pete's Fish n Chips. All in all great times! Good food, great family, lots of fun and memories!

Hyrum agreed!

More to come....

Wilkins Reunion 2009

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

The Wilkins kids...

So... this is coming a little late.
For some reason I couldn't get Danny's computer to accept this photo CD...
Anyways, it's here now. Wilkins Reunion! It was back in November. Over Thanksgiving.
We had a great time with the family. A few highlights: Making Bisquits and Gravy with the late Jim, A sweet sharing time of testimonies and gratitude with the family, dinner of course!, watching the little boys share the remains of the fried turkey..., Riley's baptism, playing games around the table, and clay shooting out in the arena.
Thanks for a wonderful time!